Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
