shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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