big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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