I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I am available for nakedness
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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