What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
