Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
