office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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