Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
