We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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