i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
The adults are the big ones right?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize