omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
