I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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