Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
