you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We are two peas in an std pod
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
