please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I think my moral compass just broke
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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