There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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