the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
