Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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