ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
