my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
