guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
