My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
