She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize