I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
