Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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