he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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