i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
