if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
