You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
