I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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