One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
