She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
