I puked a lego.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize