Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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