I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
