She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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