her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
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