I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
