there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
