Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
