am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
