Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
you guys were way drunker than both of me
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
