...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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