Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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