oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
