Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
