I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
