Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
