Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
