i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize