Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize