No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
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