I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
