im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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