Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize
