Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
