I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
