Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
