hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
