I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You can't just leave with hair like that
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Randomize
