hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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