I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
