please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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