You work out of a Hotel?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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