but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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