i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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