Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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