my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
