Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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