maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
The adults are the big ones right?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
