are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize