Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
