I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
