So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Randomize
