Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
