I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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